Help! My Partner Wants to Use Me As A
by holo-daxy
Summary: A follow up to 'Wanted: Teenage Slayer  Medical and Dental Plan Available ' and 'If The Apocalypse Comes...Ask Brittany '


**Title:** Help! My Partner Wants to Use Me as a Scratching Post!

**Characters:** Quinn Fabray / Rachel Berry, Puck

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, though I can dream right?

**Summary:** A follow up to 'Wanted: Teenage Slayer (Medical and Dental Plan Available)' and 'If The Apocalypse Comes...Ask Brittany '.

**Spoilers:** None, totally AU.

* * *

><p>Puck didn't tend to pay attention to much. Math, science, Ms Pillsbury talking about the latest supernatural visitor in town. If he didn't think there'd be any chance of sex then he'd lose interest pretty quickly.<p>

Quinn and Rachel had made it clear a long time ago that there was no chance of him getting with either of them, so he'd only stayed focused on the fun parts like watching Q break the noses of men twice her size or throwing sticks for Rachel on a full moon. The good stuff, the stuff that made his friendship with the two girls' easier and in no way awkward when they were trapped in life of death situations.

They were the important things to focus on.

So while Brittany's questions about what happens to werewolves in human form had mildly amused him as Rachel had gone bright red, like everything else it was quickly forgotten. Until the next day.

Rachel was quite often closed off and twitchy as the full moon would draw near, but even Puck noticed his friend's (she'd helped save his ass on more than one occasion, that made Rachel his 'bro' in his books) strange behaviour. Less than twenty four hours after Brittany's 'premonition' (that was the word Ms Pillsbury used, right?) Rachel's usual type of crazy hadn't just gone up a notch, it had gone off the scale.

The Puckasaurus wasn't going to complain about Rachel's change in clothing; because Rachel wearing less was always a plus, especially as it meant she wasn't wearing one of her god awful animal sweaters. And so what if Quinn was walking around with a fixed scowl on her face at the extra attention their friend was getting from the male population of McKinley. Q should have thought of it first!

However despite his lack of observation skills, Puck couldn't help but notice that Rachel looked kind of...uncomfortable the further into the day she got. It sort of reminded Puck of how he tended to feel after watching Quinn train, because there's nothing hotter than chicks with swords.

But come on, Rachel wasn't going to be aroused right in the middle of school for no reason!

It took Puck another two hours to realise there was a perfectly good reason for Rachel to be aroused in the middle of school and it had nothing to do with any boy at the school and everything to do with the full moon that was drawing near. It also struck him that boys didn't seem to just be noticing Rachel, they were practically tripping over their tongues as they followed her around, and the diva seemed completely oblivious.

But Rachel was his 'bro' so he'd have to help her. She was a werewolf in heat, so what did she needed? To get laid of course!

He'd been so focused on 'Operation: Finding a Guy Who Likes Animals' that he'd almost missed Santana's very...dedicated performance of 'Sex on Fire' during Glee. However he didn't miss Rachel running out of the choir room muttering under her breath about dead animals – much in a similar way to Finn going on about the mailman in the seat next to him.

Puck had looked to Quinn expecting the blonde Slayer to go after their friend, spilling out an excuse about 'knocking sense' into the diva, but she didn't move. In fact she'd looked even more pissed off than she had all day and her bad mood suddenly seemed directed towards Santana. Puck would have gone himself, but...this was totally out of his area! 'Girl's problems' were hard enough without the werewolf matter on top.

"I think Rachel is going to have a deep sleep tonight."

While Santana had ground out a terse reply to Brittany about knocking Rachel **into** that deep sleep, that statement alone seemed to be enough to bring Quinn out of her funk and Puck was on the Slayer's heels out of the door to find their friend. It hadn't taken long to find Rachel; she'd taken refuge in her designated slushie clean up bathroom at the far side of the school. Puck had been ready to barge in and comfort his 'wolf bro' in any way he could, but had been stopped by Quinn who had pointed out it was the girl's bathroom and left him alone in the hallway – locking the door behind her.

In the time he'd known Rachel's secret he'd discovered that the singer had an array of extra abilities that often came in handy. She was quick and agile on her feet, had a sense of smell Puck would kill for (the girl could sniff out waffles!) and could practically hear a pin drop two blocks away. Puck unfortunately didn't have any of these, and pressing his ear to the door was achieving nothing other than strange looks so wandering back to the choir room to do some 'damage control' with the Glee club was the best he could do. He was getting good at it now – Brittany was a tricky one, but nobody else tended to get past him.

Once Glee had finished for the day Puck had been left at a loose end, Quinn and Rachel had vanished from the girl's bathroom (leaving a broken mirror and a door off its hinges in their wake) and Ms Pillsbury was MIA (a lot like Mr Schue during Glee). Puck was worried about his friends especially as it was dusk and Rachel **had **to be walking the walls by now, but without somebody to tell him what to do he had little choice but to return home and play 'Mass Effect' half-heartedly while hoping for a call from Quinn asking for backup.

He'd finally fallen asleep, slightly pissed off at being left out of the loop, but mostly concerned that Rachel had gotten out of hand and Quinn had _finally_ had to deal with her. The Slayer wouldn't even consider using a tranquilliser gun on the diva let alone put a silver bullet in her.

His worry and most of all anger had vanished the moment he'd walked into the guidance counselor's office right in the middle of Quinn and Rachel being reprimanded (if you could really call it that) by Ms Pillsbury. Puck didn't often pay attention to the redhead, but when she was saying words like 'biting', 'scratching' and 'fornication' in relation to the blonde Slayer and his Wolf Bro, then he was going to start listen to the Watcher more often.

Puck knew he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box (but still not as dim as Finn) and he knew he didn't have the best attention span, but he focused on the important things. He noticed the various love bites badly hidden under Quinn's shirt, and how Rachel looked far more relaxed than she had the day before and suddenly Rachel's disinterest in every boy in the school and Quinn's jealous behaviour the day before made sense.

He'd been kicked out of the room before things could really get interesting, because he realised now really was the time to start paying attention to Ms Pillsbury – thought he had seen an interesting looking pamphlet on safe sex with a 'werewolf challenged individual' ('Help! My Partner Wants to Use Me as a Scratching Post!') sitting on the desk.


End file.
